It's time to look up

Being that its Wednesday, I knew before hand that the cute lifeguard is off. Sad Wednesdays. Anywho, when I got to the gym, there was pool class going on. For the first time I was able to see what one of my friends meant when she said it didn't look like I was doing that much.  Every last person in that pool looked like they were barely moving, however I now know from personal experience, they were in water hell. If water had a hell. Before I could even check in, a very handsome trainer with a really nice butt I must say, came up to me as if he knew me and was beyond excited to see this crazy out of shape woman in front of him!!  I'm never to sure how I should receive such a greeting in this situation. He wanted to train me! Now, I gotta admit. I was a bit worried. This man was built like a brick, and truthfully, I'm terrified of letting a trainer down. If I really think about it, this rings true in many areas of my life. Being around or with others is an instant opportunity to let them down of disappoint them........... Hmmmmmm......... OK moving right along, he told me he would get in the pool with me and show me some stuff as soon as the class was over. Reluctantly, I agreed.

While waiting for the class to end, I took my throne in the hot tub. I'm a longtime people watcher and I find so much out about myself by observing. As i'm siting there trying my best to look cool, another trainer walks by with a couple guys who had just joined. I watched them walk by, and one of them said, " hey how are you" and smiled. Ok, before you judge me and think how lame I am for mentioning this, hear me out. At that VERY moment, I realized that the "2012" me would have never got that hello. The "2012" me wouldn't have dare been in a gym, no less a damn swimsuit, in a hot tub, no bubbles on, in front of a wall of glass, but the "2012" me would NOT have been looking up. I would have diverted my glance immediately!!  I sat there for a few minutes, analyzing this current epiphany. Wow. How low I had been, more then that, how FAR I have come. I had avoided human contact so much, even to the point of a simple hello. Then, with this realization, a wave of sadness and tears followed. I looked over at the swim class again with a different set of eyes. This time, as I scanned the pool, I considered each persons situation. I considered how I have been judged for being overweight,  how I even judged myself! Each person in that pool, has a story. They have a point A, and they are working to get to point B. I bet each and every one of them walk out of the gym feeling wonderful!! Someone in that class might even be going through something similar to myself. Point being, we were all there to better ourselves. What had me sad was realizing how much life I had missed out on while crying over what's his face. what's done s done I suppose. Thank God for that water, I splashed my face right away and washed those debilitating tears away.

Yadda yadda, the workout was amazing. I felt great when I started, and even better when I walked out the door. The moral to this blog is.......You never know what you will miss, if you never turn your eyes up..........